The ‘Other’ Side of the Switch

The ‘Other’ Side of the Switch

She feels it creeping up the backside of her neck. The tension taking hold of the muscles, hardening them. Her fingers try to massage out some of the stiffness. It’s no use, she succumbs to the pain as tears roll down her cheeks.

They don’t see this side of her, she can hide it just as she hides her identity. No one will know of the hurtful things that rack her tired head. She wants to let them out, the words pound against her skull, demanding to be heard. But she knows the damage it will do to her, so she suppresses the volatile phrases.

Deep breaths, sit up straight, chin up and smile. She does not initiate any conversations, she is robotic in her responses. She goes through the daily motions- work, eat, sleep. She has been in this loop for weeks, maybe months. It goes dormant, the headaches subside.

No one notices the quiet ones, they fade into background. She doesn’t interact in their dialogue, she waits and watches. Another explosion- she internalizes the emotions erupting from them. It starts as a tingle, then a burn, and it slowly creeps up the backside of her neck.

With no clear direction, she waits. Her time will come.

9 thoughts on “The ‘Other’ Side of the Switch

  1. It feels like you have been in my head, Jae, like you have seen my thoughts, my struggle, my fear. Like Missy said, this is really powerful. Thank you for sharing.

    Rebel xox

  2. Your writing got me from the very start. I remember reading about B when u first started your blog and actually taking the time to email you as the narrative was so thought provoking.
    We can feel so much in a moment. And the funny thing is no matter how often people try and tell you what you think and feel – only you yourself actually know.
    xx

    1. Thank you May ❤️ I try to be as authentic as I can without losing my anonymity. No one has the right to tell us how we should think, feel, or write.

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