We are all afraid of something. Fear of starting something new and failing. Fear of loving and losing the one we love. Fear of change. It is this fear that has held me back from happiness and peace.
I stepped back from my blogs and nearly all social media, dived into my darkness and let it consume me. No one could pull me out of the tail- spin, though many tried. It took many sleepless nights and sleep-filled days, hours of worry and countless tears, but I have finally emerged. I made some changes in my personal life and they are now coming to fruition.
There is one person who has been a constant in my life, no matter how dark or mean I became he supported me. He gave me space to breath and reassured me when I doubted myself. He still tells me daily how much I mean to him and I have never doubted his love for me.
We finally had a weekend to reconnect and it was fireworks, just like the first time. I really needed his touch and he made me feel whole once again. I have been so afraid of losing myself in someone, determined to be the independent woman I am, that I was missing out on what could be my greatest love. It’s time to throw caution to the wind and just let myself be immersed in the passion.
Not only have I been able to reconnect with Pet (seriously, who else would I be talking about), but I also had a new job opportunity fall into my lap. It wasn’t something I was searching for and those are the best jobs to find, right? It is exactly what I wanted, it’s the next step in my career and everything with this company is just falling into place. I still can’t help but wait with baited breath though. Waiting for that proverbial shoe to drop. I have to remind myself what is life worth living if a little risk is not involved. So I accepted the job offer and gave my notice to my current employer. I start the new job in 10 days and I’m anxious to get started.
I get to see Pet the weekend after I start the job and I can’t wait. I realize after being apart for so long then getting a short weekend that I need much more and for much longer. I miss him more than words will every justify. I want him to be just as happy and I believe him when he tells me that he is. So here I sit, plucking away at the keys on my laptop, counting down the days to pure and utter bliss, in more ways then one.