I wanted to do a reflection post for the A-Z Challenge but couldn’t put together the thoughts as they swirled around in my head. April was a very challenging month and with the way things still are in regards to lockdown mode, I don’t see the challenges going away any time soon.
B is almost done with this school year, and he has thoroughly loved being home to do his school work. He hasn’t had any of the negative feelings that he used to bring home daily. The only thing about school he does miss is playing with some of his friends. The next school is yet to be determined on how it will be handled. So like many other parents- will we wait.
B has been very aware of the additional stresses that have been brought into our house this past week. I don’t want to dive too much into those things yet as it is all still very new and raw. He has been very loving and began to do something interesting. He has come up to me several times and said, “It’s time for a battery recharge Mom.” I get the warmest hug and he ends it with, “Battery full” and runs off to do whatever he was going the moment before. Whenever he gets upset over something or misses S a bit more he asks for a ‘battery recharge’. I, of course, give him the hug he is seeking and I get a smile in return. I’m not sure what made him think of hugs this way but I have no intention of changing it.
S is very aware of B’s love of rocks. Often I have to reel S back in as he goes a bit overboard with B’s interests. If I didn’t the house would be full of rocks and gadgets. Apparently before S left back in March he gave B my Mother’s Day gift and told him to hide it. They had a conversation on the phone the other day and B told S that it was a good day for the gift, even if it was a few days early. In true S and B style, I opened the gift to discover a rock. It wasn’t just any rock though, this one was engraved. I now have my very own rock that I will cherish forever. It is sitting on my desk and whenever I feel like things are too much to deal with I read the inscription and it gives me strength.
The posts for this challenge have definitely made me look inward more often than I normally would. I realize how special my guys (including B) are in my life and I’m trying my best to not take any of them for granted. I’m not perfect and I know I will have those off days, but knowing what my son really thinks of me helps me be less harsh with myself.
I hope to do this challenge again next year. I’m not sure what direction it will go, but that is the beauty of it. The options are endless and who knows what blogging life will look like at that point. Doing a theme was my best bet to get through the month so that part I know will happen if I do commit. I may continue to combine some letters as I have proven to myself with month long challenges that I cannot post every single day. Life just doesn’t allow me that time. I’m unsure what job I will have, or if I will have one at all. Too much is unknown to make any plans that far in advance.
I will end this saying that ‘hope’ is permanently in my vocabulary. I hope that some sense of normalcy will return. I hope that I am able to get a job that I love as much as blogging. I hope that my son continues to be the sweet, caring person he is right now. I hope to see my guys soon (in person). I hope.
Andy: [in a letter] Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. – Shawkshank Redemption