Lost in the shadows

Lost in the shadows

I can’t tell you how many times in my life that I was mistaken for someone else. I joke and tell people that I have many dopplegangers around, even one that is about 30 miles from me. I get the “oh hiiiii..(insert name), oh I’m sorry you look like this person I know.”

It has happened in every state I have lived in and on more than one occasion. It happens online all the time. I’m not a person that stands out, my voice doesn’t even carry that well. I can see a friend maybe 20 paces ahead of me, I call their name and they don’t hear me. Do you ever get that “oh I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there..” that’s what it’s like. I just feel invisible.

I feel like I say, “me too” a lot more now. Even in different conversations, with different people I tend to say it. It’s like I don’t have a single thought my own because someone else has either said it or done it before me. It makes me feel like a fraud.

My question about all of this is where do I fit in when it comes feminism? If I’m not a person who stands out why does my opinion matter?

In the grand scheme of things my opinion is just that, mine. I can shout from the rooftops that all people, no matter their gender or how they identify, should have equal rights.

Will I be heard? Honestly, I don’t think so. I’m a privileged person so I’m glossed over. I will stand with you though, at a rally or protest, and I will sign the petition you are sharing for equal rights. I will be supportive when you come out to your family or friends. I will give you the hug you need, when you are crying, because of something hateful someone said. I will go with you and hold your hand if you are too afraid to go to a Pride event alone.

I’ve done many of those things and I will do them again and again for whomever needs it. Does that make me a feminist? I really don’t know. I do know that even though I often feel like a shadow, I’ll be the shadow supporting you and rooting you on.


23 thoughts on “Lost in the shadows

  1. You seem like an amazing friend and that for sure does not make you invisible. People tend to remember feelings rather than every detail of an event. They’ll most likely always remember the feelings associated with when you were there to support them. Maybe it’s the first time they didn’t feel like they were alone and that has such a great impact.

  2. I feel this so much, Jae. Where my voice definitely carries, I don’t think I will be heard either because of my privilege, but if I can stand by someone or walk at a protest with them, I will. I will support them, in any way I can. I have done this before, and I will do it again. Great post!
    ~ Marie xox

  3. Being supportive and allowing those to express themselves, whomever they are, is something we all can do. I think it matters most to those we see in real life, these are the little things we can do to help. So it is nice to read that you wil be that positive shadow.

  4. I’ve realised I had a doppleganger a couple of times, it is a little unnerving! I’m sorry you feel so background but I appreciate your skill at providing back-up. That is an admirable occupation.

  5. what it makes you is a good and decent human being. be it pride parades or protests for human equality as long as you stand for what you feel is right in your soul.
    thank you for sharing

  6. I very much understand what you are saying and in one point on my own post I said similar – “Along with the power be able to follow many different philosophies rather than simply subscribing to one, I have the view point that I am not better than any one else. I also believe it is important to be altruistic, help support others, who ever they are, when you are in a position to do so”

    that means standing side by side and hugs and holding hands.
    Lovely post
    May x

  7. The way you describe yourself you are in my opinion the best a person can be. A good example for the people around you. And even if those around you are just a few your example ripples outwards makes itself heard in an unobtrusive way.

    In the grand scheme of things we need more people like you who are simply “there” for others. Small, silent, maybe just for their circle of friends and family. If everyone were like that would we even need the loud ones who campaign and fight?

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