It’s lonely on top

I think I have a pretty good network for this lifestyle. I have several submissive friends, a few dominant friends, and I had a wonderful mentor. What I’ve come to realize is that there isn’t as many friendly dominants as there are submissives.

On the left side of the slash we exercise control. We implement the rules and have to follow through with punishments. We are the spankers, the riggers, and maybe an expert on breath play. With the play comes responsibility, we learn first aid, maybe CPR, and whatever else necessary to our dynamic.

Through it all no one is showing us how to be a good dominant. We turn to a book, a social media site, or if we are really lucky another dominant friend for advice.

Being a dominant can be lonely, the dominant community is more closed off as they are the protectors. So what do you do when there isn’t anyone who cares about your growth?

You put in the time and effort. You put in the work. As a friend once said, “you do the wolf shit”. You take classes, go to workshops and munches. You find someone who understands what you’ve taken on. They want to learn and grow with you. They are patient and want to explore the community with you. They are supportive in you becoming a great dominant.

3 thoughts on “It’s lonely on top
    1. Thank you! We started with a few protocols and rules just to see how it would go. Nothing complicated but they have been very successful and he does them now without having to think about it. It feels very natural and we both love what we have so far.

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