I’m not the only one saying that this year has had a really rough start. Stress, illness, and even day to day tasks can feel like a burden. I feel like so many people (including myself) are on high alert and it only takes one wrong move to set the stage afire.
As sex bloggers we share very intimate parts of our lives, we are often exposed and that makes us extremely vulnerable. When we are questioned over something we said or did it can come across as an attack. More often than not things get said in the heat of the moment and are not always how we truly feel, but how we feel in that moment, in defense mode. I’m not one to jump into heated conversations or debates. I have my thoughts/opinions and usually keep them to myself. Maybe that makes me a fence sitter, or maybe..I can see valid points on both sides. I am this way in all aspects of my life.
This past weekend I was asked by a friend to support a cause that she was advocating for. I asked for evidence or direction to more information before I made my decision. She was taken back that I refused to jump in and say “Yes, I agree”. She later apologized for putting me on the spot and provided me with the information I requested. I know it frustrates those around me when I don’t make a clear cut decision at the precise moment they ask for it, but I’m not changing that part of me anytime soon.
This evening I was talking and messaging with pet about this past weekend and he said something that caught me off guard. “I wish I could save you, from everything.”
All communication ceased for almost 2 hours, but not because I was upset or hurt over it. I had to have time to think it through, do I really need saving? More importantly, do I project that I need saving?
I do write about the random things going on in my life and sometimes the silly nonsensical things that roam through my head, but I have never needed saving. Even in my worst experiences I have never wanted someone else to save me. Although, sometimes the saving does happen whether you ask for it or not and in those times I am grateful.
I did eventually respond to pet and I told him this,
“I don’t need you to save me, I need you to support me.”
I think that phrase can be applied to many things in our lives whether they are vanilla or kink. We may not live in a fairy tale (ok maybe some do), but we can be our own heroes and still support one another.