A-Z Challenge 2020- Conformity Not Required

A-Z Challenge 2020- Conformity Not Required

“Why is the earth round?” “How do birds fly without getting tired?” “Why do dogs dream?”

I have a naturally inquisitive child and the questions increase when it is something he is really interested in, like space. B has always wanted to know the who, where, when, how, and whys of everything since he started talking. I’ve never stopped him from asking either. I love how innovative and intelligent he is and I don’t ever want to stifle him.

B is very smart but not book smart. He is practical/common sense smart. He can look at something and figure out the ins and outs by tinkering with it. He loves random facts but requires different medias to learn from, sitting down with just a book is like pulling teeth. I’ve mentioned before that he has special needs as he is diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and dyslexia, so school is a rather miserable place for him.

B has gotten himself in trouble at school because of his inability to conform to their strict standards. He loves to talk and fidget, both disapproved of in his school. I’ve made the comment to friends and family that it feels like our children are in prison. If they aren’t able to read as quick as others, follow complex directions, and only speak when spoken to they are deemed “a problem”.

He has come home many times in tears because he had a note from the teacher sent home with all the things he did wrong. My question back to them is “what did he do well?” They are so quick to tell you when something negative happens but never tell you anything positive about your child.

As hard as this NTI (non-traditional instruction) is to get used to, B is flourishing. He does have plenty of questions, but learning from worksheets and online education websites has made school fun for him. He can switch his pencil half a dozen times until he finds the “right” one (feels right in his hand, yes this is a thing), twirl in his chair as he figures out a math problem, and go to the restroom without having to ask.

Those things may drive me bonkers while I’m trying to work, but that’s what headphones are for. He tells me random facts he has learned throughout his lessons that day and does it with a huge smile. He isn’t upset or down on himself and that makes me so happy. When it comes to my child’s well-being and happiness I say screw conformity!

My theme for this year’s meme is ‘Lessons my son has taught me’. No matter our age we are never to old to learn something about ourselves. To read what other’s have written please click here.


16 thoughts on “A-Z Challenge 2020- Conformity Not Required

  1. As a teacher, it upsets me to hear about your son’s experience in school. This should not happen and school should be a positive experience which is inclusive of different needs and different learning styles, allowing all young people to experience success. It makes me angry when this doesn’t happen and although I am realistic enough to know that school can still be stressful and difficult for those with additional support needs, it doesn’t sound as if your son’s school is really trying.

    I am pleased that this period of you being at home together is working out and it sounds as if you give him real confidence in himself. Loving learning is so important and I am really enjoying hearing about what you are learning from him. 😊

    1. Thank you missy. Unfortunately the school system has failed us when it comes to his needs. His dad and I chose to get him help outside of school and it was the best thing for him. He is so hard on himself and some teachers see that and work with him, but there are those that just don’t care.

      I have enjoyed learning with him but I am definitely not teacher material. I lose my patience too easily, he picks up on it when I do and we take a “time-out”. We have several more weeks of school work ahead so it’s good that are learning together. 😊

      1. You sound like you are doing a brilliant job. It is really hard to teach your own children and I don’t know many teachers who would feel that it was something they could do well 😊

          1. I have done it in a school setting actually but only for a short period. The structure there made it fine but when I try to help them at home I have found it ranging from difficult to impossible, depending on the child lol. It helps if I tutor a friend with them at the same time but otherwise we seem to clash a bit and they see me as mum, rather than teacher. 😊

  2. I can say, as both a teacher and the parent of a child with ADHD, traditional school is not for every kid.

    As a parent, I feel your mama bear frustration. I also know what it feels like to have a handful of kiddos who cannot sit still, focus, or be quiet when everyone else is trying to learn in a quiet environment. It’s not that easy to meet the needs of every child when you have 30 in 5 classes.

    It’s much easier to design instruction for one child, when you can teach one on one and allow them to learn at their own pace.

    Still, my son misses school and his friends. And I miss my students (even the ones who challenge me) greatly.

    For us, it’ll be nice to get back to our normal routine.

    1. This was a hard lesson for me as I loved school when I was his age. It came easy to me so when B started having problems I just thought he wasn’t applying himself.

      I’m not saying teaching is easy in any way. I couldn’t do it and I have a hard time with just my one. He has wonderful teachers this year and they see how hard he tries, it was the system itself that failed him. He is a “between the cracks” child, he gets good grades but he struggles for them. So he doesn’t qualify for any help.

      Some of the rules the school has is (to me) ridiculous. These are young children that need to learn but also move around, get the wiggles out. I realize things have changed a lot since we were children, but one thing remains the same.. they are children just as we once were.

      1. I think the federal govt needs to understand this…taking the focus off of testing and allowing us to do the less is more kind of instruction that works better for pretty much everyone.

        If our hands weren’t tied every time we turned around, and we had the correct resources and smaller class sizes…it would be better for everyone.

        I agree, kids need the freedom to move, and more physical activity needs to be built into the day…more breaks…recess, etc. Hell, we adults need the same things!

        1. Funny how testing was so quickly dropped when it came to closing the schools and kids are learning remotely.

          You are so right, as adults we need “recess” too! I’m sure our jobs would be a bit more enjoyable if they changed break to recess and installed a swing set. Okay, maybe I’m a child at heart but it sounded good.. haha

  3. It seems indeed the school system has failed B, and I am happy to read in your post and comments that he now learns the way that is best for him. I wish I could’ve done that for my son too, but he was only diagnosed when he was 18. My grandson is in a special school and is now getting exactly the education he needs. Now with the schools closed, he gets video lessons from his teacher, and where he is upset a lot because his routine has been broken, it’s wonderful that the teachers can continue to teach the kids in this way.

    Rebel xox

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