39 years and counting

39 years and counting

I have lost count of the amount of people who said last year was the worst year. For many it truly was, but not for me. This year is mine.

How can I say that when it is only May? I spent the beginning of the year exhausted and flat out miserable. Tests and modifications to my life and cutting back on so many things I love literally broke me.

April came and I was determined to get my life back on track, instead I fell flat on my face.. again. Not finishing the A-Z Challenge was proof of that and I have no intention of going back to it. I can’t keep looking backwards and expect different results, so face forward once again I trudge on.

May begins and I go to my women’s health exam. Most of it went very well and I felt good about going. That is until a spot and a lump were found. The spot could be mistaken for eczema, but many creams have been tried and it’s not budged. The lump is just a lump until I get my testing to rule things out.

I’m trying not to overthink anything, but it is really hard not to. I’m happy with the progress I’ve made with my diet and I’m starting to exercise again so that has helped my spirits. I keep telling myself that it is better safe than sorry as I receive the phone calls to schedule more tests.

I wish I could commit to writing more or even finishing what I started. As of right now my health is more important and I’m going to keep listening to my body and take the rest I need. I’m not giving up, just giving in for the moment.

I thought 39 was going to be a great age. So far it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, but I’m still here and I’m grateful for that!

5 thoughts on “39 years and counting

  1. Oh Jae, things just keep on happening in your world. I hope the lump will turn out to be nothing to worry about, and that all other things will work out just fine too. Sending you hugs and positive thoughts!
    ~ Marie xox

    1. Thank you Marie. I feel like it’s just one big tailspin at the moment. It will eventually stop. I miss writing and enjoying the creativity that comes with it. I just have to give it time.

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