I love him…and him

“Sometimes love doesn’t die; it just changes form. It occupies a new space and it continues to grow.”

I’ve always found it easy to get along with men. My best friends are men. Maybe it is the dominant side of me that draws them in? I’ve grown over the years to be confident in what I say and my actions, so that might have something to do with it. It is safe to say that I am still friends with many of my past relationships in the vanilla and bdsm/kink world.

A handful of those friends I still love. Once I love someone, they never leave my heart. I will never stop loving someone, I just stop wanting to be with them for a number of reasons. I found a picture of a heart broken into half a dozen pieces. That is my heart. I form special bonds with my men. I love them, cherish them, and no relationship is ever the same as the last.

There are 2 men in my life that are the most important to me. My son’s father and my submissive. Both are wonderful men and have a great deal to offer. My son’s father is caring and supportive. He does what is best for our son without hesitation. We try our best to co-parent and sometimes we fail, but at the end of the day our son is very much loved and taken care of. My submissive is my best friend. He knows me inside and out, better than any man I have ever been with. He can tell by the inflection in my voice, the look in my eyes, or even my ever changing facial expressions what I am thinking. We have an unfathomable connection. Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without either of these men.

I’ve always been a firm believer that there is more than one soul mate for a person. They are not always who you would expect and they are not always the person you are in a relationship with. They are the people who come into your life for a brief moment, or maybe many years, but they always have something to teach you. It took me many years to realize this. I was brought up in a very loving household and my parents are still together after 37 years. They are my inspiration, they give me hope that one day someone could love me like that.

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