It’s snowing outside. It is not much of a surprise for those in New England, but for those of us south of the Mason/Dixon Line it is a rarity in December. I feel like it is matching my mood today.
I knew this was going to be hard. Most days I’m ok, others I just want to crawl in a hole and hope that people forget I exist. My son is away for Christmas this year. I feel like part of my heart is missing. I’ve always been happy to share him with his father’s side of the family and I would never tell a 93 year old woman that she couldn’t see him for Christmas. I know it makes her feel like she is on top of the world and he loves her to pieces.
But, I still can’t help it. I miss seeing his gorgeous blue eyes first thing in the morning. I miss his non-stop chatter about anything and everything as he is still so innocent.
I know he is having a wonderful time seeing his great grandmother and the huge family that entails. I won’t begrudge him for being happy, he should be happy and carefree!
So when he calls, I put on the strong mom voice and listen to every little word he tells me. I soak in all of his happiness. He will be back home sooner than later.
For now though, I’m just going to miss him.