If you’re kinky and you know it clap your…oh..nevermind!

So I started this blog in a round about way. I had a blog on another site, which will not be named. I got tired of seeing blog after blog of basically porn. There were a few writers in the midst and those are the ones I really followed. So I figured why not try something new. I’m an avid learner of many things and of those things I especially love kink and BDSM.

I started off my self-discovery about 18 years ago. It began with pain. It was accidental at first until I realized how calm it made me feel afterwards. I had no idea what BDSM or being a masochist was at that age. I just knew I craved more. This was also the pre-‘everything you read on the internet is true’. This was the dial-up AOL and listening to the beeps as it connects time frame. So I had no idea how many other people like me were out there. So like many in this lifestyle, I hid it. I found many ways to induce the pain I craved at home, alone. 

It wasn’t until I started using chat rooms that I found other like-minded individuals. I couldn’t very well go to the bar or dance club and start off the conversation with, “So I’m into pain and receiving it, want to spank me?” I’m sure I would have found many of the wrong type of guys in that scenario. 

I did meet several people in person from this online experience. A few I grew very close to and began my journey into BDSM. I was the quiet type and a people pleaser. So it is safe to say I began on the submissive side of the dash. For a long time I believed that I was a submissive, plain and simple. I never questioned the decisions made for me, and I obeyed the best I could. I liked having structure and rules and on occasion new tasks to complete. I thought I was a good submissive. 

After several years of being the s-type I became restless. I did like being cared for and the many kinks involved. I loved being put on display, but something else was missing. I began to push back. I didn’t want to be the “Yes Sir” person anymore. I wanted to be in control. So I ended my relationship and began my research. Book after book. blog after blog, site after site, I submersed myself into what it took to be a dominant. I went back to the chat rooms only this time I had so much more information at my fingertips. 

I made friends with a polyamorous couple and was allowed to test my newly surfaced skills. I got to dominate my first woman. The experience was like my first high. I didn’t want to come back down. I had a few more sessions with the couple and then set out on my own. My goal was to experience as much as I could on both sides of the spectrum. I still loved my submissive side but also loved my dominant side just as much.

This brings me to the past 2 years. I brought some friends into the world of kink and they took to it very well. They discovered their passion for D/s and wanted to include me. So I agreed and took on a submissive role again. I gave them the ins and outs of dominating and submitting. How to set protocols and rules, the importance of vetting, and got to explore myself as a “little”. It was a lovely experience. I felt like I was wanted and needed again. As life has it personal changes came in to play with a big move for me and for them, so we ended the contract. We are still great friends and still love to discuss our kinks.

With the move brought many changes. I went into the daily grind mode. Working, taking care of my family, and meeting friends out for coffee. It was a quiet reprieve. I still kept my kinks on the table and experienced some from time to time, but didn’t have a D/s relationship. 

Out of the blue, I received a message. “Hi, I know it has been 2 years since you messaged me. I’m sorry I didn’t respond…message me if you would still like to talk.” 

He is now my submissive…

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